PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
