1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
