dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
