she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
