Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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