I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
