Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
