The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
