foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
