I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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