I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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