worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
