so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
as a side note pls kill me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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