I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
