Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize