Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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