i already hear my dad disowning me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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