I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
