There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
