We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
