whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
