how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
