I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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