If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
