I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
ttyl tear gas
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
