ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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