Sponge bath it is.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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