I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
