do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
