I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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