OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
