so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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