He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
