Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
