i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
