I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
