I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
