that's an acceptable place to lick
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
