never play flip cup with pint glasses
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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