i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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