this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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