It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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