I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize