Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
