Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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