More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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