Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think my tv is drunk
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize