I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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