i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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