Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
