Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
