Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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