You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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