this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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