what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
