Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
