They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
