What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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