My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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