doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
