I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
