1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
