dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize