The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
