Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Boobs speak an international language.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize