He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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