Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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