I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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