dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
