You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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