He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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