is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
