Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
