Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
